Writing again

So, I've hear that blogs these days are supposed to have a purpose or a theme or some kind of exciting formula to follow. I'm treating this more like a public journal, so I don't really have any theme to follow. Unfortunately, I don't write in this almost at all, but I guess whenever the mood strikes me I will.

I've been thinking about God more. I'm trying to talk to God more. I'm still a pretty selfish person and I always want what I want, when I want it, how I want it. I talked to God about a situation in my life that's been on my mind since February. I had been talking to God about it, but I don't know if I had actually let myself concede that God had control over the situation. I finally did give God the control (I don't have the power to give God any control because God already has it, but still). I think God may have taken away what I wanted. I'm still trying to come to terms with that. Being selfish is stupid, but I didn't want that to be the outcome. I might not have admitted it to myself, but I expected God to give me what I wanted once I gave it to God. That is not the case, it would seem, with this. I hate bellyaching about it because I did what I was supposed to do and God did the right thing. It feels sad though. It's not even that big of a deal, this whole situation, I just...really wanted more clarity. I need to trust God. I'm writing in generic terms a little because I'm not sure if anyone read this, but a little more because it's not about the situation so much as it's about God and me and the relationship we have. Anyway, that's all....I wish I could be a bit more concise with my blog writing. If I tried a little bit harder I could make it much more interesting to read, but I'm not looking for a whole bunch of people to be following my blog. I'm just throwing it up for whatever reason.