I have too many thoughts in my head...So I'll just dump them here. I don't want to be in America anymore. It's too easy here. This is not where I'm supposed to be. I want to start leaving right now. I want to leave and go anywhere. I want to go where there is great need. So many places have need. I want to give and give. God is telling me something, but I'm too stupid to listen or understand. I need to be in Portland right now. I want to end suffering. It is too much. What is going on?
Last night someone was talking about Katherine and I. They said I was the fun one. I guess I have to make up for what I don't have, in wit and humor.
I like it here in Portland, but I really should leave. I'm going 100 miles a minute...
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You're going 100 miles a minute... but He is still with you. He put you there, He will be wherever you go, and He put every thought in your head.
"O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue [or blog!]
you know it completely, O LORD."
You have so many feelings that seem to be going in a million different directions and you want to follow them all... do not be discouraged. That is merely a reflection of the Father's heart.
You are NOT too stupid to hear the LORD:
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful [i.e. Rachel],
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
That's all I got. Except this: http://www.catholiccharitiesoregon.org/donation_volunteer.asp
I love you. See you in two days.
thanks dear
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